Reaching for One's Goals, Visions, Dreams . . .
By: Thais Banu
We all have some secret ideas hidden in the far deep corners of our souls. You know the ones I talk about our what if's . . . if I could . . . I really would like to . . . perhaps I can someday. Of course you can - we hear it all of the time - we can do anything we set our minds to. The only true problem facing us is the lack of knowledge of how to gain what we seek. In my own life I have made decisions that have brought me to many of my goals. As a general rule I do not stop and add up my accomplishments; however, I do look to see that I like the path I am treading, and sometimes I choose to take a turn in another direction to reach my personal goal.
Seeing your dream come true requires many skills. You will need an open searching mind, patience, confidence in your vision, timing and a really big smile! To be successful in achieving your goal you will need to set a plan in motion.
First take a serious look at what you want to achieve. Is it really a possibility in your life? What will it take to get you there and will reaching your goal help yourself or anyone else? Once you attain your goal how will it change your life? In other words is it just a lovely daydream one enjoys on a drifting summer breeze or is it really a deep rooted vision that won't let you go until it has become a reality?
Next you will need to set down with pen and paper and work up a plan of action. This involves breaking your vision down into smaller very attainable daily, weekly, and monthly goals. With each of these smaller steps be sure to note an estimate of time, money, and any possible contacts who can help you.
Now you roll up your shirt sleeves and get to work. Yes, it is hard work! Post your plan where you can see it on a daily basis. Never, never, let a week go by without tackling one of the smalll steps of your plan. Always remember that this is your own special dream and to you it is worth every moment you give it. Allow your dream to live through you until you make it a reality.
I have been asked to share how I recently achieved one of my own personal dreams. For several years I have taken Middle Eastern Dance into our local schools. When I do this it usually involves a 1 1/2 to 2 hour presentation/lecture/program. I strongly beilieve that the youth of our communities are our future and that education is the key to the public understanding of our lovely dance art. Even though I have brought my program to hundreds of children, I felt that something was lacking. Perhaps it was in me. I began having this nagging feeling that I wasn't reaching enough children - there was so much more to share,. I remember asking myself if this was a vision why did it appear as a doubt? Often times one doesn't choose how a dream comes it is just in front of you all glowing and warm, then there are times when it silently drifts like softly falling snow until it takes shape inside you. This was how this vision came very slowly, softly, timid even at first. This time, this dream like a snowflake, would not disappear while I was wrestling what to do with it. It began to snowball, it grew stronger in me until my doubting self could contain it no longer. I had to try.
So, what to do now? It won't let me go and I really believe that it is a good idea. Where do I go next? Who do I approach? I want this to happen, I know that I will have to make it happen, but how do I do that? I slam into a blank wall. Should I stop now and give it up? No! I won't.
I decide to mention it to my dear husband to see if he could shed some light and direction. We thought about it, we discussed it, we even argued about it. I have all of the pros and cons out in front of me now. Is it still something I want to do? Is it still a vision I want to see happen:? Yes, it is growing stronger in me this desire to do this.
I need to try to answer some questions. Who else would benefit from this vision? Answer - children. Who would be interested in my idea? Answer - not sure yet, perhaps a youth organization - community, civic, or church. How much time would I be willining to devote to it? Answer - In the summer, I could give 10 to 15 hours per week. Will it enrich my life or someone else's? Answer - hopefully it will do both. Will there be expenses involved? Answer - Yes, transportation and miscellaneous. Now I have my answers it is time to put togehter a plan.
First week - start networking through friends and find out who might be interested in my gift. Time allowed - 4 hours. Cost - phone calls & possible lunch.
Second week - make organization contact. Time allowed - 2 hours. Cost - None.
Third week - Follow-up to contact - set up appointment. Time allowed 1 hour. Cost - None. SMILE! BE PATIENT & GRACIOUS!
Fourth week - Get ready for appointment. Organize P.R. materials, and dance info. Go to contact meeting! Time - 1 hour. Cost - photocopying. SMILE!
Fifth week - Set & mesh summer schedules. Inspect room space. Hammer out details & contract if needed. Time - 4 hours. Cost - photocopying.
Two weeks before start date - Final check with contact. Time - 1 hour. Cost - none.
O.K. now that I have a working plan I need to use it each day. I began by talking to friends about my idea. Wow, what a feed-back of information. I never realized that my husband and I are actually a contact! We sit on the Board of Directors for a local civic non-profit organization that works with inner city families. One of their many programs includeds a summer school for kids aged 7 - 15. It is a delightful mix of fun activities and serious studies.
This should be easy for once! I pick up the phone, I place my call, I know them, they know me, this should be a breeze - no problem? Right ? Wrong ! I am in shock . . . did I say something wrong to my contact? No, I poilitely offered to teach an ongoing summer class in a form of Middle Eastern Folk dance. I knew many different regional dances that I would be willing to teach. I made it known that it is fun family dancing. So what went wrong? From the other end of the phone I hear . . . "You want to do what with our kids? Surely, you don't want to teach them Bellydance?!? How could you of all people?" Talk about mixed feelings. . . I never mentioned bellydancing.
The next day I open the closet door and there staring me in the face is my well thought out posted "PLAN". I think to myself what would I do if this wasn't my organizaiton? Would I just walk away and give up? Would I contact another group? Would I let my dream die because of another person's misguided concepts? No, I couldn't live with myself if I did. I know that one person is not the whole program so I decide to contact her counterpart; however, they had already talked. My offer was very politely refused. I hear, "No, not this year, we don't have room, perhaps if you contact us early next year." The more I listened the more determined I became.
I was upset. I haven't even got my foot in the door. Not one face to face interview. How could they do this? They weren't closed minded. Last year they brought in African dance and music for their program. So why not Middle Eastern Dance?
After receiveing more run-around I thought that perhaps I should let it go. It is hard to let a dream go, something deep down inside of you mourns for it. The next day, after I took down my plan form the closet door, I began thinking about the kids. I decided that I would try again. I made more calls and set up visits. Finally, the program director informed staff that I would be teaching this year and they were to work out the details with me. I went on to work following my plan and wondering to myself why it took months to get to week three!
As soon as word got out that I would be teaching, my classes were full and I graciously added another special one - very hard to reach kids. I taught 106 kids this past summer in regular weekly classes. The experience enriched my life and I have many fond memories that I cherish.
It wasn't easy going all of the time. I almost didn't know what to say when two disruptive teenage girls refused to join class. When I got to the bottom of it they informed me that they weren't going to learn dance from some white woman. Interesting thought! So I made them a deal I wouldn't try to teach them if they could out dance me - the class voted and they lost - the girls reluctantly joined class. However, by the end of our time together they were having fun with everyone.
Another discipline instance led to my altering all of my classes structure. Some students in class had a problem learning a Turkish line dance because the girls decided to pick on one boy. By the end of the class it had turned into a bocott of sorts including all of the girls and most of the boys. I run a tight class and I was determined not to lose control. We stopped class and had a lively discussion about different forms of discrimination. Oh, yes they knew the usual obvious ones - race, sex, age, class - rich vs. poor. Yet, they didn't realize that what they were doing was just the same. From that day on I included in our quiet cool down sessions a "what it" scenario. I would throw out a situation to the class and ask for them to tell me what they thought. Everyone was allowed to answer and they were told that the only unacceptable answer to the "situation" would be violence.
I learned that not only the students, but also most of the teachers, had no idea how to effectively use a cool down period in their day to re-energize. To me that statement in unreal, however, believe me it was true. To be so busy not to slow down for 15 minutes. . . not to talk and listen to each other. . . not to be quiet and reflect on the day,.
We learned a lot about each other this past summer. My students learned that it is all right to express the joy or sorrows they bring with them into class through dance. They learned that everyone must cooperate together ro successfully accomplish a Turkish line or circle dance. The teachers learned they could trust me with their classes and relax becoming observers of our time together. The staff found out at the kids party that it wasn't as easy as it looks. The students loved seeing the adults make so many mistakes trying to do the dances they learned all summer! One very important lesson I learned was to take new approaches to situations and to become more flexible.
About a week after my classes ended I was approached about teaching Middle Eastern Folk dance again for them next year. Words can't express the joy I felt at knowing that I had made a difference and opened some minds to our Art. Later, in Octoreber, I was driving through town and I saw a group of my kids out in a front yard, guess what they were doing? Teaching one of our fun dances to their friends.
